London Weekend=SUCCESS

Thanks to the brilliance of my wonderful sight-seeing companion, Charlotte, London Weekend was a success. For the last week or two, we told ourselves we would spend an entire weekend seeing the sites of Londontown, and somehow we managed to get our arses up and out of bed two days in a row... an accomplishment, if I do say so myself. Friday wasn't very productive [aside from paying our rent], but saturday and sunday were spent visiting Oxford Circus (topshop!!!), Regents Park, Buckingham Palace and Westminster. Rundown:

Oxford Circus: We first went to the apple store to bring in my computer... too fresh of a wound to talk about right now. We FINALLY went to topshop, and I indulged in a fresh jean jacket and purple flats- both on sale :) Neither, however, compare to Charlotte's AMAZING red Dorothy flats. Fabulous. We walked around the area for a few hours and discovered a bunch of really amazing stores and boutiques. I also stumbled across the "Vogue House"... day-maker. *For those who aren't that into fashion, it's the London Vogue office!!* You better believe I took a picture. After Oxford Circus, we went to Primark in Marble Arch to pick up some items for that night's festivities. No worries, I'll elaborate in a hot minute. We hit up Regents Park last- a beautiful way to end our Saturday adventure. We found a small, sunny area on the grass and shifted between small naps and people watching. It was so so so relaxing and the park was so beautiful. I forgot how wonderful parks are! Later that night, we got doll'd up and went out to Howard Howard's friend's birthday party. Funnn stuff. It made me realize that I don't go to enough dance parties. Between the size-too-small shoes I wore, the "bruise" on my eye from when some guy elbowed me in the face, and the soreness from my drunken dancing, I'm in a bit of pain, but usually when you wake up in pain, it means you had a good night... right? Anyway, I hope they have another party. Soon. I'd love to repeat that night (hint hint to howard howard if he's reading this!).

Sunday: We got up ruullll early and Charlotte and I saw the changing of the guards which was pretty cool, and then we got to tour Buckingham Palace!!! Of all the things I did this weekend, that was definitely the best. It was one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen, and the art work was out of control. We know that The Queen has the largest art collection in the world (thanks, TK), and seeing just a fraction of it was incredible. It's also insane how much history that building has... it's a little overwhelming, but still wonderful. I would recommend it, but the tours end next week :( Anyway, after Buckingham Palace, we got AMAZING hot dogs in Green Park and chilled out for a little while. While there, we saw a Palestinian protest in the streets against Israel. It was loud and passionate and intense. I also saw 2 men in black panther shirts walk by during the march. I forget that political activism happens outside of America, too. After watching the march, we went to Westminster and saw the Big Ben and the London Eye. We also walked around the area and once again, people watched.

We've seen a lot of these sights before, but we took the free weekend [and really good weather] as a chance to further explore these places and for photoshoots. Let's not talk about how many pictures we took. Charlotte and I also promised each other that we'd see/explore something new at least once a week. We want to make the most of our time here and if anyone else wants to tag along, they're more than welcome to :)

Soooooo yeah. Great weekend! Next week: Hyde Park, Portobello Road, FABRIC!!, and random adventures with RB!!! Can't wait.

Till later, Peace.

OBRIGADO PORTUGAL.

First off, I would like to apologize for my major delays in posting/reading other blogs lately. You must understand that it's difficult to do so without a computer (don't worry, the issue is being dealt with). You all know that there is nothing I would love more than to get back to my regular pace of daily blogging. It has now been roughly 4 days since we got back from beautiful Lagos, Portugal, and I'm still in the post-trip phase, the worst phase of them all, where my want to go back is killing me on the inside. You've all experienced that phase, I'm sure. If Sally May decided to loan me more money, I would go back in a heartbeat- for the weather, if anything. As much much as I love London, comparitively, the weather is no match for Portugal. I can't walk down High Street Kensington in a bikini. If I did, I'd probably get frostbite [in awkward places]. And what would Tim Kidd say, to see all of his students tanning on our 1-hour break from his walks??! He would NOT be happy. Anywho, I've decided to update you all on our nonsensical debaucheries of the weekend- non-censored/all details included (or at least the ones I remember). Brace yourselves for a long, long entry....

Let's start from the tippy tippy top of the trip: The Preparation Stage.
After counting down the days for a little over a month, thursday night FINALLY fell upon us; we had an entire night to eat, pack and chill until it was time to say "peace" to the Abbey... at 3 a.m. sharp. We figured it made no sense to sleep, so we all stayed up and kept each other entertained amidst the madness of packing, shaving, pouring our shampoos & conditioners into travel-size bottles, etc. Charlotte was too busy drinking with models and British fashion designers for her job, so unfortunately for her, she missed my three hour attempt at waxing my face... turns out the veet wax I bragged about earlier isn't all that great. The food aspect of the night (for me) was particularly excellent; I had discovered a really great sushi restaurant [that I cannot afford] down the street! Yes, it is pricey, but if I ever decide to splurge with the money I don't have, you know where I'm getting my spicey tuna rolls. The taxi came and we were all whisked away to Gatwick by a rather odd cab driver. I was impressed by his extensive knowledge of the "oldies but goodies" that played on the radio. It's safe to say his favorite song was "Secret Lovers." How do I know it was his favorite song? When it came on, he did NOT hesitate to bump up the vol. and sing along. Loudly. I aint mad atcha, cab driver. I have songs that make me react the same way. Granted, it's not "Secret Lovers," but still, I understand. So we get to Gatwick, meet up with everyone else on the trip, I got a great 2-for-1 deal on sunscreen at the airport [since customs took my expensive sunscreen that I picked up literally the day before], and we hopped on a plane. It was a bit of a mad dash to get seats, but it ended up being fine. Within the first 5 minutes of being on the plane, my ass clonked out. I was up for the last hour of the trip, though; the woman on the loudspeaker wouldn't stop talking. Once the plane landed, we had to take a bus to get to the main part of the airport. The BEST feeling was stepping off that plane and into the Portugese atmosphere. The sun hit us immediately and I knew from that point on that it was going to be a rather sick weekend.


Day 1.
We pulled up to the nicest villa i've probably ever seen. I don't really remember the van ride there-again, I passed out. Weather? 90 and sunny :) Perfect weather for swimming in our PRIVATE pool or in the bigger, nicer pool down the street that overlooked the mountains and the ocean. I had the best coffee I've had in a looonnngggg time, threw on a bathing suit and walked my ass over to the other pool with everyone else. We played in the water (kind of), got food from the strange [but funny] Portugese guy from the kitchen, indulged in really cheap beer, took a shitload of pictures and layed out for a few hours. Again, I passed the EFF out. I feared that at any moment, I would wake up from this intensely beautiful dream that I've been living for the past day- or even for the past month.

When the sun started to set, we went home, showered and got ready for din din. That was the first time we went into town, which sat alongside a river full of docks, boats and fishermen. Beautiful. The restaurant we went to was very authentic and the food was ridiculous... if only they were nice to Americans. They were both rude and negligent to us. Dis-re-spectful. They should've been lucky that the Veal I ate was beyond delicious. Otherwise, bad news bears. This is a good segway for me to introduce the two "gem-makers" of the trip. Honestly, they deserve their own entry, but I'm going to try to sqeeze them into this one. Girl #1: Muffy. She's a sweet girl who would never intentionally hurt someone... she's just an idiot. Plain and simple. When she speaks, I fear for her future. One of these days, she's going to get slapped across the face from a complete stranger for one of her "gems" as we say, and I won't have the decency to defend her. Her comments deserve it. It's one of those "spend a day with her and you'll know what I mean" type of things, but good GOD! Girl #2: Racoon. We call her this because her eyes bug out with this intensity that freaks me out, and out of nowhere, she'll go crazy. Whoever let her out of the country should be shot. I actually told her off during the dinner because she was unneccessarily rude to the one waiter who actually waited on us. I didn't hesitate to tell her that she was in the wrong, and she deserved it. It wasn't her first time saying something inappropriate.

Moving on, we finished dinner and walked around for a little bit. Scott and I found a bracelet vendor that spelled out names with thread. Neither of us wanted to wait, so we bought two that were already there. We settled on Bruno and Bruna: two absolutely ridiculous names. We also took pictures with a pregnant woman who was dressed in gold. We dodged her afterwards because she wanted us to tip her. Hell-to-the-NO. Those pictures, however, no longer exist (r.i.p. Bruno's camera). Then we were off to the bars. I just followed Tati. She always knows where she's going. We ended up on this strip of bars, one of them being 3 Monkeys. 3 Monkeys was by far the best bar I've ever been to. The music was great, the bartenders were hot (and shirtless), and the atmosphere was just chill. They even had free internet! (hence my last blog, which I apologize for, p.s.) The bartenders were friendly and kept giving us free shots, so my drunken self invited them to come to our villa to skinnydip. Had we discussed this?? Absolutely not. The bartenders: Jimmy, the Belgian bartender with a girlfriend in NY and a tiny pee-pee; Jarrod, the Australian bartender with an awful farmer's tan and a greattt body; Almost Famous guy, the rocker-looking bartender, don't know his name but he was wonderful; and the girl. We bar hopped for a while, got hit on by men from all over Europe, and we just had a good time. Along the way, we met one of my most influential acquaintences: Scuba! He's this tall, lanky Australian who gets wasted every night and loves it. He wore the same clothes 3 days in a row. He does not even care. What a beautiful specimen. He even sold us a cayak tour! ...random, but I'll take it. After we inhaled all the alcohol we could handle, we caught a cab and went back to the villa to get a good night's sleep.

Day 2.
The next morning, we each slowly got up and devoured the "free" bread we found in the kitchen. Charlotte got up early with Samantha to shop, and she was kind enough to pick me up razors (which I successfully smuggled back into London)! When we were all up and dressed, we headed straight to the beach. Another beautiful, hot, sunny day. There was a little food stand where we all got "breakfast." I had a curry, chicken and pineapple crepe a vanilla milkshake. Heaven. I also got a few cheap beers to take with me, and we headed straight for the sand. Portugal clearly has no problems with nudity; there were naked people everywhere. A lot of naked babies, too. I don't know how I felt about that. We literally stayed there all day. Again, I kept pinching myself. Andy, another fellow traveller, sprayed me with water. To get him back, Samantha helped me bury his flip flops. He looked for them for over 15 minutes and I died the entire time. Maybe not that funny to you, but it certainly was to me. Just accept it and we'll move on.

After the beach, we headed back home, showered and dressed for night number 2. This time, we went to a restaurant off this tiny brick road in the middle of town. We sat outside underneath umbrella's, shielding us from the remains of the refreshing rain that fell about an hour prior. I washed down my AMAZING chickin tiki tiki thing with calamari, garlic bread and a pina colada. Bruno had rabbit, and I was a little jealous. Unlike the restaurant we went to the other night, the service was wonderful. The gems, particularly the ones that came out of Muffy's mouth, were even more absurd than what I had anticipated. To remind those who were on the trip: the rabbit story, scott saying it was a potato, etc.

After dinner=bars. Of course, we went back to 3 Monkeys and had a great time, as usual. We also ran into scuba who told us the sad story of his night: he got wayyy too drunk, fell asleep under a car, got woken up by his friends the next morning, smoked a joint, ate, slept, drank, went to "work." Bless his soul. I used that opportunity to ask him for geenie, not thinking he'd come through. 2 Hours later, he found me in a bar, and gave me a looootttttt of *special geenie* for half the price. That is why he was my favorite. 2 Long Island Iced Teas, 1 Woo Woo, 2 Beers, free shots and a fish bowl later, we (Sam, Miranda and I) had flashed the bar so that the bartenders would get naked, I wrote a love note to Jimmie on the bathroom wall, I listened to some Brit's story about how his girlfriend cheated on him with his "best mate," and I danced to every rock song possible. The next thing you know, I'm thrown in a taxi with Tats and a bunch of beach-bum bartenders (including Canadian Ty!), with my special geenie in hand, back to the villa to skinnydip and such. We did that (and saw Jimmy's tiny pee-pee again), finished the special geenie, and drank some more. Jimmie also professed his love to Tats, which was cute. Muffy was throwing up in the living room. Bruno was in the hospital because he fell on his face! It was a sad moment. We were able to look past that, however, and enjoy the rest of the night. I'd like to take this time to apologize to Charlotte for hovering over her, naked and wet, at 5 in the morning. She almost had a heart attack and I blame myself for it. I'm sure the last thing she wanted to get waken up by was my naked self blowing kisses at her in the middle of the night. Again, I apologize (even though I think you secretly loved it). I didn't go to bed until 8am. Hell no was I still going cayaking. It was worth it, though, to watch Scuba act like an idiot all night long. He was my favoriteeee. I truly miss all of them. We even got to see the sunrise! When I started seeing shit, I decided to call it a night. Too much special geenie. You know how that goes.

Day 3.
Within the 2 hours that I slept that night, I kept getting woken up by Scuba's pranks. My favorite: turning the lights on and off and on and off, while making noises with sheets over his head. Too bad we knew it was him under the sheet and not a ghost. By the time I woke up, they all left and the only one still there was Jimmie. He took us out to a really good breakfast, we had more gelato (mmmmm...), and we went on a boat tour of the Gratos! He also whipped out his special geenie for the boat tour. I knew I could count on tiny pee-pee! When that was finished, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the villa for our last day. I finished my special geenie and chilled in good weather for one last time. I was praying it would never come, but the van came to pick us up and we headed back to the airport. I wanted to cry. Goodbye's are always the hardest part. Always.

Our Villa

large swimming pool:

SCUBA!!!

Jimmie

Jarrod. Yes Yes.

Writing this entry made me realize that a lot went on this weekend; I just don't have the stamina to write any more. I think you get the idea. Overall summary: great food, great people, great gems, great drinks, GREAT weather, great naked people. Great weekend.

Obrigado.

Hey, Dirtyyy, Baby I gotcha money

I´m in portugal right now... in a bar... a little drunk. The bar has internet? Everything on this site is in portugese and the keyboard is different, but im making it work. The bartender is a little hot and charlotte is right by my side, god bless her. I cant believe im blogging in a bar. This is what my life has come to. What did i do today? I sat by poolside and slept all day. drunk. I also had really good veal for dinner, in case you were curious. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! get your asses to portugal if you havent already, which is the case for most of you. this is one of the most complicated things ive done in a while, so please give me props for this. tomorrow? BOOZE CRUISE!!! PLUS a little skinny dipping later, depending on whether or not charlotteś down. Between me and you, i think sheĺl do it. I also have been nicknamed bruna. ill explain at a later time.

chow till monday? PEACE. and hope you all are as wasted as i am. LOVEEEE.

"...hey Nani Nani" -TK

...I shouldn't have picked up the 5 pounds (*see last entry). Just as I had predicted, karma has bitch-slapped me across the face; it continues to perpetuate this miserable luck I've been having lately, and all I can do is watch and play victim to its bullying. It's borderline depressing. I keep getting these "one hour colds," as I call them, where I wake up and feel miserable for about an hour before the "cold" abruptly disappears; I got burned on my face by a straightening iron; I finished my carton of cigs; I even got my period a week and a half EARLY... on a school trip! The worst: Monday night, I carried my computer from the kitchen to my bedroom. Within that 15 second span, my computer decided to malfunction and now, for some reason, my screen is COVERED with a wide array of colored lines and a thick, black slash traveling down the center. I can't fix it. Miranda thinks somethings wrong with the pixels or something, I'm not quite sure; computer jargon is not my expertise. I figure the very friendly apple people will know how to solve my little dilemma. This means that I will drag my ass to Oxford Circus in the a.m. to see if they can do anything for me. Based on my very basic knowledge of computers, it looks like they might need to completely replace it... am I going to lose all my shit? My programs? My pictures? My bookmarks on my "favorites" bar for firefox? Whether I lose everything or not, I will still be computer-less for the next few weeks, meaning limited blogs [and no new pics for you facebook fans]. I just don't understand how my computer can get effed up so quickly! I have a Mac. Last I heard, Apple was ruling the world. Rulers don't have these issues. Apple- you need to get your act together asap.

I'm close to tears [thinking about my computer], so we'll move on.

Stratford-Upon-Avon/Oxford was a nice little getaway. We stayed in this cute b&b and we got to do the High School Musical jump outside of Shakespeare's house!! -classy. We also saw A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was wonderful, and I got to chill out and drink Stella's with some members of the cast. Don't worry, I managed to get pictures (of course I brought my camera!), only you'll have to wait a couple of weeks to see them. Speaking of cameras, my new camera is sooooo great! I did nothing to deserve it. This just means I need to get my mom a more than spectacular christmas gift.
We (the girls and I) encountered a rather odd character in Stratford. We were all eating our "gourmet burgers," which were tres delicieux, and this short, stalky man approaches us, stridently staring at Ms. Samantha. He stands there awkwardly for a very, very long moment and says in one big slur: "Is that a natural smile or is it a fake one?" ...I can't even give him an A-for-effort, that was just sloppy. He was persistent, though, I'll give him that much. He tried his best to court all of us, and as he approached me, I quickly let him know I wasn't feelin' it. I don't play- at least not with middle aged drunk men. Instead of focusing on us, he should have spent more attention to that receding hair line (don't think I didn't see it!). They have Rogaine in the UK, don't they? Anyway, it was a good time and I'm glad I went!

If you're London and you want to see the musical "Never Forget"- don't. (But thanks to Sam for getting us tickets!)

Till tomorrow (or the next time I get access to a computer), peace.

P.S. Shouts to Howard Howard for reading my blog! You are written about quite frequently, so it is only fair that you view at your own discretion.

I Need to Invest in a Belt.

Unfortunately, my voyage to the laundromat the other day was an unnecessary one. I say this my saggy bottoms have yet to go away. Guess I gotta wait till I go back to the states. 

Yayy for my camera! and granola! and winter jackets! ...and heels! My mama must love me. 

ALSO, today when I was coming home on the tube, I fully fell [slowly] on a bunch of people. Flat on my face. In the middle of rush hour. Embarrassing. I also found 5 pounds! I hope I don't get bad karma from picking it up...

I'll be chillin with Shakespeare all weekend. So until Sunday, Adieu.

"It's So Coldddd in the D!!"

"I don't see why you should censor yourself on your own blog. A blog is really for the writer, not the readers, and if you can't even write the truth, there's no point in having one..." -Miranda

You'll never catch me talking about depressing shit on here. I keep that stuff to myself, locked in the "vault." I WILL, however, share one little secret with all you beautiful people:

I want my blog to be as cool as Kanye's. No, scratch that... COOLER than Kanye's. 

There. I said it.

Funny youtube video's always put me in a good mood; that's the only reason I told you my secret! I also made up a rap about nutella. Ask me about it and i'll do it for you. 

cheers. 

** Miranda is pushing me to recap on the day, so here it is. I got to sit next to TK  during the show we saw tonight for interrelationships. He was about to ask me out on a date, but then the lights dimmed and the show started (and you know how TK gets when his shows start...). I think he's going to ask me out any day now. He was on a roll today with the jokes, though. He talked about bondage, too. That's the one thing about TK- he's always full of surprises. I don't care what anyone says about him. I'll defend him no matter what. 

The walk we went on for the class was a little long, but we got to see where rockstars lived, which is always nice. I actually liked the show we saw. I saw the playwright (who took notes the entire time) and told him I liked it. He said "thanks!" and walked away. He was kinda cute. Weird, though, that a Brit would write a 75 minute play on American politics... We got our issues, but so does the UK. 

AND I still have to write my journals. Sucks, doesn't it?

(seriously... if you want to hear the Nutella song, just ask.)

"Had To Be There" Zinguh!

I just took a 5 hour nap with Miranda... by accident. This means that I'll be up all night working on my scene for tomorrow. I don't want to disappoint my scene parter, nor my gorgeous teacher, Murray [who, b-t-dubs, opted to take a leisurely stroll with me from the London Center to the tube the other day!]. Other than passing out, it was a rather productive day for me: I went to the laundromat with Char to dry my jeans (maybe it got rid of the saggy bottoms?), purchased really yummy cheese, which I have been casually nibbling at since I got home, and I finally bought wax! It's from Veet, and I was a little taken aback because I didn't know Veet made wax! Convenient, right? Goodbyeeeeeee unibrow. 

On a sadder note, just because I feel the need to mention it, my new orange bag was nearly ruined by the unexpected explosion of my pen this morning. Tragic. The inside is completely wrecked, but I was able to salvage the exterior. It's funny because if the outside had even the slightest ink stain on it, I wouldn't wear it... at least not in public. I could make the comparison to people, that we pay more attention to appearance than we do anything else (general statement). It doesn't matter what purpose my bag serves, or how useful the pockets are; if it's stained on the outside, it's immediately dubbed "ugly." ...or maybe I'm just shallow? Doubtful. 

As I travelled home on the Picadilly, the London Paper horoscope section said this about my life today:

"(Aries) You know what they say you should do when life throws you lemons? Of course you do, Aries- you make lemonade. You certainly don't suck on them. They're bitter, after all. This week will bring the bad with the good, but it's what you do about it that's important- you can turn it all to your advantage, just as long as you don't dwell."

Interesting, especially considering yesterday's events. This time, I don't think they're lying.

I leave you with the haiku's I wrote during Tim Kidd's slide lecture earlier today:

Shakespeare in a slide

is sadly not as charming

as Tim Kidd's lectures.

Tim Kidd doesn't like

when the slide projector tilts

slightly to the left.

Tim Kidd was "funky"

in his bright blue satin shirt

way back in the day.

Rocco needs to keep

his shoes on when he's in class.

Mad disrespectful.

Immaculately 

do all the numbers align

in my sudoku.

Say it, don't spray it.

Give me what I want- the news

and not the weather.

Don't step on the crack.

Your mother will throbbingly 

feel her bad back break. 

Howard Howard left,

promising he'd give a ring

to his "blazed-out" friend.

How I'd love to see

a "funky teenage hangout"

once before I leave.

Miranda laughs hard

whenever Tim Kidd utters

any of his jokes. 

I love when Tim said

the "had to be there" zinguh.

TOTES necessary.