Haven't posted in a while. My bad. Surprisingly, my time has been spent doing other useless things :) The internet at our flat has finally given out, but I can't be mad since I steal it from the neighbors. Oh well, it was a good run while it lasted. Now I'm at an internet cafe down the street from my flat drinking tea and eating the largest, crustiest, fluffiest croissant I've ever eaten in my life and I'm roaming facebook... naturally. What's NOT natural is that I leave tomorrow morning at 9:30am. Rude, if you ask me. My time isn't up here. I don't think my leaving should be forced, but whatever. Not my decision. All in all, London has been incredible, as was our dinner-limo-club excursion last night that now results in my lack-of-a-voice. HOT. I didn't hit up the dinner, but from what I hear, it was fab. Speaking of fab, I've been to some fabulous places that I have yet to talk about, the best [aside from Portugal] being France. That includes both Nice and Paris. I need to hit up Euro-town again rulllll soon. For my mental health, if anything. My only wish would be to have more money so I could do A LOT more shopping, but that's always my wish whether I have money or not. My time is running out here, so I must leave. I kinda also have to poop... effects of that croissant. Just know that todays agenda includes:

wagamama's
the greatest fish and chips in the world
meeting my british cousin Annis at Bond Street (you can laugh at her name, I did.)

peace out, girl scouts.

For the FIRST time since I got here, I'm feelin' a little homesick. My trip here has undeniably been amazing and I still will cry when I have to leave, but... I'm starting to miss home. My brain is a little foggy at present, and for the next week, I will focus on de-fogging it by taking a lot of outings on my own. Solo. Listening to good music. Seeing sights I haven't yet seen. Shows. Museums. Everything. I'm an independent person, but I can get dependent on others when I'm not careful, and that's exactly what has happened. I need to remember that I don't need to be needed, and everyone else has their own agenda, too. I'm not tackling London the way I had planned, and with a month and a half left on the ticker, I might as well start ASAP.

Poor.

With negative numbers in my bank account and hardly any contact with the rents over-seas, I am now officially poor. Sadly, this means no all-you-can-eat pizza tonight. I want to cry.

Bad Day.

I feel so naive for not seeing this coming. It was bound to catch up to me sooner or later, and today I realized I couldn't maintain a blind eye to the matter any longer. What matter exactly? DEBT. Much to my chagrin, the horoscope that I read obsessively each month has come true, despite my praying that for some reason, there might be a glitch in the reading. I owe so much money, to so many people... it's overwhelming. Apparently I have to pay $100 for my Amsterdam living situation, 60 pounds for my oyster, 455 pounds to my landlord, $600 to my BANK... until I can muster up $450, my computer will remain at the Apple headquarters in Oxford Circus. Let's be real here, I'm stuck in a shit position right now. The only thing I was able to "pay" back today were my two wayyyy overdue library books. I found all of this out TODAY. All within the last 10 hours. I also need money to survive here in London, mind you. My groceries are quickly disappearing. To add insult to injury, my "calling credit" as the automated voice on my phone calls it is running low, and as soon as I stepped foot outside of the ICLC, it started raining. Then as I was walking home, a speeding car drove past a puddle which sprayed water all over me. Then I broke a glass bottle on the kitchen floor and couldn't fully clean it up because we just ran out of paper towels and I couldn't find our broom. I hope this makes you feel better about your life.

Bad, bad day.

ROMA: Land of the Communists.

Fall break for the lovely ladies at the Abbey was... an adventure. A long, fun, crazy, messy, somewhat spiritual adventure. Good for us. It was SO much of an adventure that I'm going to split up our week long journey into 4 blogs: Rome, then Florence, then Venice, then Nice & Monaco.

I'm also aware that my entries have been rather sporadic over the past few weeks. Tomorrow, if everything goes as planned, I will get my computer back. That means more entries more often. Yayy.

Alright. So. RB came, thank GOD. He stayed for about a week and a half, not long enough if you ask me. We love us some RB, so the entire week was too much fun. We went to museums, an opera, a couple shows, Wagamama's (mmmmm...), the pubs, and FABRIC!! That place is one giant euro-acid trip. He also experienced my first British fish n' chips meal! De-lish. We got some great usage out of our hookah, ANDDD we had a photoshoot on the tube! Can you honestly say that you've ever stepped foot onto an empty tube car... kinda drunk? We had to jump on this rare opportunity, and the results are fantastic. BETTER. That was the night we were supposed to go karaoke-ing, but ended up at some chinese restaurant in the middle of Leichester Square... oops. We also finally toured our area and discovered some gems about the West Hampstead area, such as The Lion and PIZZA EXPRESS!!! My life gets better and better. I don't know how we booked this flat, but we must have done something rulllll amazing in our past lives because this little deal we have is too wonderful. Samantha is sitting next to me with no trousers on.

ROMA.
I feel bad for RB because we bolted out of the door at the last possible minute (The Abbey way) and we left him here to find his way to Gatwick on his own. He's an independent bloke, so I had no worries. Let me just say, I hate ryanair and Luton airport. I can't really complain since it's SOOOOOO cheap, though. As long as it gets me from point A to point B, I'll deal. I was also dying from the worst cold I've had in a long time (total duration: 1.5 weeks), so I was just not in a good place. That all changed, however, once I stepped foot on Roma soil. Fantastic feeling. Overwhelmed with fatigue, we went straight to our hostel and walked right into a communist protest. Picture hundreds upon hundreds of Italian youth, all dressed in red, drinking, dancing, partying and screaming communist chants. It was interesting. Too bad I'm not communist, otherwise I probably would have grabbed a beer. We went on this bus tour and saw most of the Roman sites via a moving vehicle, but the steady driving put me to sleep after the first hour. It was a good place to nap, I would say. Once we got off, I got my period. Yup, I said it. My PERIOD. Sometimes I wonder: there are so many older women who chose not to have babies. That means that they've spent most of their lives having to endure cramps, pms and all that ish... for WHAT??? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY BABIES!! Let's figure this out. Linda. She's 55 years old, child-less of course. She got her period at the ripe age of 13. 55-13x12=504 WASTED PERIODS!!! Absolutely not. I would tell Linda to go get pregnant asap before those 504 periods become utterly useless. What a shame.

So yeah, I got my period. Then we toured Rome by foot. Rome is SO beautiful at night. Everything just glimmers. Miranda and I found a place to grab a beer and we were off to sleep. We woke up early, got dressed up and headed to the Vatican to hopefully attend a mass service; it wasn't open the entire time we were there, only for the mass on Sunday. We waited for a few hours, but we were pretty much at the front of the line. Then, all of a sudden, everyone pulls out their tickets... tickets??? We didn't know we needed tickets to get into the Vatican. We opted to stay in line and maybe beg our way in? About 20 minutes later, a Priest who was standing in front of us eerily turns around and makes direct eye contact with Miranda and asked her if she needed a ticket. She asked for four and out of NOWHERE, we landed tickets. It was creepy, clearly a sign that we were meant to attend the service, which took us by surprise when we figured out it was a canonization service led by the POPE!!! There were hundreds of people there from all over the world, and we were practically front row. I didn't realize how huge it was until I saw it on the news the next night. When the mass was over, we saw the Pantheon and made our way to the train to Florence. Just assume that every 2-3 hours, we inhaled either pasta, pizza, bruscetta or gelato. Of the three cities we went to, Rome had the best food.

My general thoughts on Rome: like I said, amazinggggg food, and soooo many BEAUTIFUL people. I was convinced that all the beautiful people lived in Italy... until I went to France, but thats a concept that will be explained later. I felt like I was thrown into history walking through such an ancient city. I've spent years learning about ancient Rome, and getting to finally go was just... remarkable. The city was remarkable. I also thought it was interesting that we could get by knowing only 7 phrases: Gratzie, Prego, scuzzi, chiao, bonjorno, perfavore and mi dispirache. Literally those were the only Italian words we knew, and we all got by just fine. And again, the beautiful people. WOW.

Also, our hostel wasn't that great.

Oblidi, Oblida

GOOD NEWS: My computers fixed!!

BAD NEWS: I can't pay for it just yet...

GOOD NEWS: I just finished my paper for tomorrow!

BAD NEWS: It took me all day... I blame facebook.

GOOD NEWS: Italy this weekend, followed by Amsterdam & The Rest of RB's visit (which has been exceptional thus far)

BAD NEWS: I think I'm coming down with whatever sickness Charlotte's been stricken with for the past week.


Let's end on some good news...
A random Brit told me today that I had a "sweet hoody" on. I'd say that constitutes as good news.

Till I get the money to pay for my computer- Adieu.

London Weekend=SUCCESS

Thanks to the brilliance of my wonderful sight-seeing companion, Charlotte, London Weekend was a success. For the last week or two, we told ourselves we would spend an entire weekend seeing the sites of Londontown, and somehow we managed to get our arses up and out of bed two days in a row... an accomplishment, if I do say so myself. Friday wasn't very productive [aside from paying our rent], but saturday and sunday were spent visiting Oxford Circus (topshop!!!), Regents Park, Buckingham Palace and Westminster. Rundown:

Oxford Circus: We first went to the apple store to bring in my computer... too fresh of a wound to talk about right now. We FINALLY went to topshop, and I indulged in a fresh jean jacket and purple flats- both on sale :) Neither, however, compare to Charlotte's AMAZING red Dorothy flats. Fabulous. We walked around the area for a few hours and discovered a bunch of really amazing stores and boutiques. I also stumbled across the "Vogue House"... day-maker. *For those who aren't that into fashion, it's the London Vogue office!!* You better believe I took a picture. After Oxford Circus, we went to Primark in Marble Arch to pick up some items for that night's festivities. No worries, I'll elaborate in a hot minute. We hit up Regents Park last- a beautiful way to end our Saturday adventure. We found a small, sunny area on the grass and shifted between small naps and people watching. It was so so so relaxing and the park was so beautiful. I forgot how wonderful parks are! Later that night, we got doll'd up and went out to Howard Howard's friend's birthday party. Funnn stuff. It made me realize that I don't go to enough dance parties. Between the size-too-small shoes I wore, the "bruise" on my eye from when some guy elbowed me in the face, and the soreness from my drunken dancing, I'm in a bit of pain, but usually when you wake up in pain, it means you had a good night... right? Anyway, I hope they have another party. Soon. I'd love to repeat that night (hint hint to howard howard if he's reading this!).

Sunday: We got up ruullll early and Charlotte and I saw the changing of the guards which was pretty cool, and then we got to tour Buckingham Palace!!! Of all the things I did this weekend, that was definitely the best. It was one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen, and the art work was out of control. We know that The Queen has the largest art collection in the world (thanks, TK), and seeing just a fraction of it was incredible. It's also insane how much history that building has... it's a little overwhelming, but still wonderful. I would recommend it, but the tours end next week :( Anyway, after Buckingham Palace, we got AMAZING hot dogs in Green Park and chilled out for a little while. While there, we saw a Palestinian protest in the streets against Israel. It was loud and passionate and intense. I also saw 2 men in black panther shirts walk by during the march. I forget that political activism happens outside of America, too. After watching the march, we went to Westminster and saw the Big Ben and the London Eye. We also walked around the area and once again, people watched.

We've seen a lot of these sights before, but we took the free weekend [and really good weather] as a chance to further explore these places and for photoshoots. Let's not talk about how many pictures we took. Charlotte and I also promised each other that we'd see/explore something new at least once a week. We want to make the most of our time here and if anyone else wants to tag along, they're more than welcome to :)

Soooooo yeah. Great weekend! Next week: Hyde Park, Portobello Road, FABRIC!!, and random adventures with RB!!! Can't wait.

Till later, Peace.

OBRIGADO PORTUGAL.

First off, I would like to apologize for my major delays in posting/reading other blogs lately. You must understand that it's difficult to do so without a computer (don't worry, the issue is being dealt with). You all know that there is nothing I would love more than to get back to my regular pace of daily blogging. It has now been roughly 4 days since we got back from beautiful Lagos, Portugal, and I'm still in the post-trip phase, the worst phase of them all, where my want to go back is killing me on the inside. You've all experienced that phase, I'm sure. If Sally May decided to loan me more money, I would go back in a heartbeat- for the weather, if anything. As much much as I love London, comparitively, the weather is no match for Portugal. I can't walk down High Street Kensington in a bikini. If I did, I'd probably get frostbite [in awkward places]. And what would Tim Kidd say, to see all of his students tanning on our 1-hour break from his walks??! He would NOT be happy. Anywho, I've decided to update you all on our nonsensical debaucheries of the weekend- non-censored/all details included (or at least the ones I remember). Brace yourselves for a long, long entry....

Let's start from the tippy tippy top of the trip: The Preparation Stage.
After counting down the days for a little over a month, thursday night FINALLY fell upon us; we had an entire night to eat, pack and chill until it was time to say "peace" to the Abbey... at 3 a.m. sharp. We figured it made no sense to sleep, so we all stayed up and kept each other entertained amidst the madness of packing, shaving, pouring our shampoos & conditioners into travel-size bottles, etc. Charlotte was too busy drinking with models and British fashion designers for her job, so unfortunately for her, she missed my three hour attempt at waxing my face... turns out the veet wax I bragged about earlier isn't all that great. The food aspect of the night (for me) was particularly excellent; I had discovered a really great sushi restaurant [that I cannot afford] down the street! Yes, it is pricey, but if I ever decide to splurge with the money I don't have, you know where I'm getting my spicey tuna rolls. The taxi came and we were all whisked away to Gatwick by a rather odd cab driver. I was impressed by his extensive knowledge of the "oldies but goodies" that played on the radio. It's safe to say his favorite song was "Secret Lovers." How do I know it was his favorite song? When it came on, he did NOT hesitate to bump up the vol. and sing along. Loudly. I aint mad atcha, cab driver. I have songs that make me react the same way. Granted, it's not "Secret Lovers," but still, I understand. So we get to Gatwick, meet up with everyone else on the trip, I got a great 2-for-1 deal on sunscreen at the airport [since customs took my expensive sunscreen that I picked up literally the day before], and we hopped on a plane. It was a bit of a mad dash to get seats, but it ended up being fine. Within the first 5 minutes of being on the plane, my ass clonked out. I was up for the last hour of the trip, though; the woman on the loudspeaker wouldn't stop talking. Once the plane landed, we had to take a bus to get to the main part of the airport. The BEST feeling was stepping off that plane and into the Portugese atmosphere. The sun hit us immediately and I knew from that point on that it was going to be a rather sick weekend.


Day 1.
We pulled up to the nicest villa i've probably ever seen. I don't really remember the van ride there-again, I passed out. Weather? 90 and sunny :) Perfect weather for swimming in our PRIVATE pool or in the bigger, nicer pool down the street that overlooked the mountains and the ocean. I had the best coffee I've had in a looonnngggg time, threw on a bathing suit and walked my ass over to the other pool with everyone else. We played in the water (kind of), got food from the strange [but funny] Portugese guy from the kitchen, indulged in really cheap beer, took a shitload of pictures and layed out for a few hours. Again, I passed the EFF out. I feared that at any moment, I would wake up from this intensely beautiful dream that I've been living for the past day- or even for the past month.

When the sun started to set, we went home, showered and got ready for din din. That was the first time we went into town, which sat alongside a river full of docks, boats and fishermen. Beautiful. The restaurant we went to was very authentic and the food was ridiculous... if only they were nice to Americans. They were both rude and negligent to us. Dis-re-spectful. They should've been lucky that the Veal I ate was beyond delicious. Otherwise, bad news bears. This is a good segway for me to introduce the two "gem-makers" of the trip. Honestly, they deserve their own entry, but I'm going to try to sqeeze them into this one. Girl #1: Muffy. She's a sweet girl who would never intentionally hurt someone... she's just an idiot. Plain and simple. When she speaks, I fear for her future. One of these days, she's going to get slapped across the face from a complete stranger for one of her "gems" as we say, and I won't have the decency to defend her. Her comments deserve it. It's one of those "spend a day with her and you'll know what I mean" type of things, but good GOD! Girl #2: Racoon. We call her this because her eyes bug out with this intensity that freaks me out, and out of nowhere, she'll go crazy. Whoever let her out of the country should be shot. I actually told her off during the dinner because she was unneccessarily rude to the one waiter who actually waited on us. I didn't hesitate to tell her that she was in the wrong, and she deserved it. It wasn't her first time saying something inappropriate.

Moving on, we finished dinner and walked around for a little bit. Scott and I found a bracelet vendor that spelled out names with thread. Neither of us wanted to wait, so we bought two that were already there. We settled on Bruno and Bruna: two absolutely ridiculous names. We also took pictures with a pregnant woman who was dressed in gold. We dodged her afterwards because she wanted us to tip her. Hell-to-the-NO. Those pictures, however, no longer exist (r.i.p. Bruno's camera). Then we were off to the bars. I just followed Tati. She always knows where she's going. We ended up on this strip of bars, one of them being 3 Monkeys. 3 Monkeys was by far the best bar I've ever been to. The music was great, the bartenders were hot (and shirtless), and the atmosphere was just chill. They even had free internet! (hence my last blog, which I apologize for, p.s.) The bartenders were friendly and kept giving us free shots, so my drunken self invited them to come to our villa to skinnydip. Had we discussed this?? Absolutely not. The bartenders: Jimmy, the Belgian bartender with a girlfriend in NY and a tiny pee-pee; Jarrod, the Australian bartender with an awful farmer's tan and a greattt body; Almost Famous guy, the rocker-looking bartender, don't know his name but he was wonderful; and the girl. We bar hopped for a while, got hit on by men from all over Europe, and we just had a good time. Along the way, we met one of my most influential acquaintences: Scuba! He's this tall, lanky Australian who gets wasted every night and loves it. He wore the same clothes 3 days in a row. He does not even care. What a beautiful specimen. He even sold us a cayak tour! ...random, but I'll take it. After we inhaled all the alcohol we could handle, we caught a cab and went back to the villa to get a good night's sleep.

Day 2.
The next morning, we each slowly got up and devoured the "free" bread we found in the kitchen. Charlotte got up early with Samantha to shop, and she was kind enough to pick me up razors (which I successfully smuggled back into London)! When we were all up and dressed, we headed straight to the beach. Another beautiful, hot, sunny day. There was a little food stand where we all got "breakfast." I had a curry, chicken and pineapple crepe a vanilla milkshake. Heaven. I also got a few cheap beers to take with me, and we headed straight for the sand. Portugal clearly has no problems with nudity; there were naked people everywhere. A lot of naked babies, too. I don't know how I felt about that. We literally stayed there all day. Again, I kept pinching myself. Andy, another fellow traveller, sprayed me with water. To get him back, Samantha helped me bury his flip flops. He looked for them for over 15 minutes and I died the entire time. Maybe not that funny to you, but it certainly was to me. Just accept it and we'll move on.

After the beach, we headed back home, showered and dressed for night number 2. This time, we went to a restaurant off this tiny brick road in the middle of town. We sat outside underneath umbrella's, shielding us from the remains of the refreshing rain that fell about an hour prior. I washed down my AMAZING chickin tiki tiki thing with calamari, garlic bread and a pina colada. Bruno had rabbit, and I was a little jealous. Unlike the restaurant we went to the other night, the service was wonderful. The gems, particularly the ones that came out of Muffy's mouth, were even more absurd than what I had anticipated. To remind those who were on the trip: the rabbit story, scott saying it was a potato, etc.

After dinner=bars. Of course, we went back to 3 Monkeys and had a great time, as usual. We also ran into scuba who told us the sad story of his night: he got wayyy too drunk, fell asleep under a car, got woken up by his friends the next morning, smoked a joint, ate, slept, drank, went to "work." Bless his soul. I used that opportunity to ask him for geenie, not thinking he'd come through. 2 Hours later, he found me in a bar, and gave me a looootttttt of *special geenie* for half the price. That is why he was my favorite. 2 Long Island Iced Teas, 1 Woo Woo, 2 Beers, free shots and a fish bowl later, we (Sam, Miranda and I) had flashed the bar so that the bartenders would get naked, I wrote a love note to Jimmie on the bathroom wall, I listened to some Brit's story about how his girlfriend cheated on him with his "best mate," and I danced to every rock song possible. The next thing you know, I'm thrown in a taxi with Tats and a bunch of beach-bum bartenders (including Canadian Ty!), with my special geenie in hand, back to the villa to skinnydip and such. We did that (and saw Jimmy's tiny pee-pee again), finished the special geenie, and drank some more. Jimmie also professed his love to Tats, which was cute. Muffy was throwing up in the living room. Bruno was in the hospital because he fell on his face! It was a sad moment. We were able to look past that, however, and enjoy the rest of the night. I'd like to take this time to apologize to Charlotte for hovering over her, naked and wet, at 5 in the morning. She almost had a heart attack and I blame myself for it. I'm sure the last thing she wanted to get waken up by was my naked self blowing kisses at her in the middle of the night. Again, I apologize (even though I think you secretly loved it). I didn't go to bed until 8am. Hell no was I still going cayaking. It was worth it, though, to watch Scuba act like an idiot all night long. He was my favoriteeee. I truly miss all of them. We even got to see the sunrise! When I started seeing shit, I decided to call it a night. Too much special geenie. You know how that goes.

Day 3.
Within the 2 hours that I slept that night, I kept getting woken up by Scuba's pranks. My favorite: turning the lights on and off and on and off, while making noises with sheets over his head. Too bad we knew it was him under the sheet and not a ghost. By the time I woke up, they all left and the only one still there was Jimmie. He took us out to a really good breakfast, we had more gelato (mmmmm...), and we went on a boat tour of the Gratos! He also whipped out his special geenie for the boat tour. I knew I could count on tiny pee-pee! When that was finished, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the villa for our last day. I finished my special geenie and chilled in good weather for one last time. I was praying it would never come, but the van came to pick us up and we headed back to the airport. I wanted to cry. Goodbye's are always the hardest part. Always.

Our Villa

large swimming pool:

SCUBA!!!

Jimmie

Jarrod. Yes Yes.

Writing this entry made me realize that a lot went on this weekend; I just don't have the stamina to write any more. I think you get the idea. Overall summary: great food, great people, great gems, great drinks, GREAT weather, great naked people. Great weekend.

Obrigado.

Hey, Dirtyyy, Baby I gotcha money

I´m in portugal right now... in a bar... a little drunk. The bar has internet? Everything on this site is in portugese and the keyboard is different, but im making it work. The bartender is a little hot and charlotte is right by my side, god bless her. I cant believe im blogging in a bar. This is what my life has come to. What did i do today? I sat by poolside and slept all day. drunk. I also had really good veal for dinner, in case you were curious. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! get your asses to portugal if you havent already, which is the case for most of you. this is one of the most complicated things ive done in a while, so please give me props for this. tomorrow? BOOZE CRUISE!!! PLUS a little skinny dipping later, depending on whether or not charlotteś down. Between me and you, i think sheĺl do it. I also have been nicknamed bruna. ill explain at a later time.

chow till monday? PEACE. and hope you all are as wasted as i am. LOVEEEE.

"...hey Nani Nani" -TK

...I shouldn't have picked up the 5 pounds (*see last entry). Just as I had predicted, karma has bitch-slapped me across the face; it continues to perpetuate this miserable luck I've been having lately, and all I can do is watch and play victim to its bullying. It's borderline depressing. I keep getting these "one hour colds," as I call them, where I wake up and feel miserable for about an hour before the "cold" abruptly disappears; I got burned on my face by a straightening iron; I finished my carton of cigs; I even got my period a week and a half EARLY... on a school trip! The worst: Monday night, I carried my computer from the kitchen to my bedroom. Within that 15 second span, my computer decided to malfunction and now, for some reason, my screen is COVERED with a wide array of colored lines and a thick, black slash traveling down the center. I can't fix it. Miranda thinks somethings wrong with the pixels or something, I'm not quite sure; computer jargon is not my expertise. I figure the very friendly apple people will know how to solve my little dilemma. This means that I will drag my ass to Oxford Circus in the a.m. to see if they can do anything for me. Based on my very basic knowledge of computers, it looks like they might need to completely replace it... am I going to lose all my shit? My programs? My pictures? My bookmarks on my "favorites" bar for firefox? Whether I lose everything or not, I will still be computer-less for the next few weeks, meaning limited blogs [and no new pics for you facebook fans]. I just don't understand how my computer can get effed up so quickly! I have a Mac. Last I heard, Apple was ruling the world. Rulers don't have these issues. Apple- you need to get your act together asap.

I'm close to tears [thinking about my computer], so we'll move on.

Stratford-Upon-Avon/Oxford was a nice little getaway. We stayed in this cute b&b and we got to do the High School Musical jump outside of Shakespeare's house!! -classy. We also saw A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was wonderful, and I got to chill out and drink Stella's with some members of the cast. Don't worry, I managed to get pictures (of course I brought my camera!), only you'll have to wait a couple of weeks to see them. Speaking of cameras, my new camera is sooooo great! I did nothing to deserve it. This just means I need to get my mom a more than spectacular christmas gift.
We (the girls and I) encountered a rather odd character in Stratford. We were all eating our "gourmet burgers," which were tres delicieux, and this short, stalky man approaches us, stridently staring at Ms. Samantha. He stands there awkwardly for a very, very long moment and says in one big slur: "Is that a natural smile or is it a fake one?" ...I can't even give him an A-for-effort, that was just sloppy. He was persistent, though, I'll give him that much. He tried his best to court all of us, and as he approached me, I quickly let him know I wasn't feelin' it. I don't play- at least not with middle aged drunk men. Instead of focusing on us, he should have spent more attention to that receding hair line (don't think I didn't see it!). They have Rogaine in the UK, don't they? Anyway, it was a good time and I'm glad I went!

If you're London and you want to see the musical "Never Forget"- don't. (But thanks to Sam for getting us tickets!)

Till tomorrow (or the next time I get access to a computer), peace.

P.S. Shouts to Howard Howard for reading my blog! You are written about quite frequently, so it is only fair that you view at your own discretion.

I Need to Invest in a Belt.

Unfortunately, my voyage to the laundromat the other day was an unnecessary one. I say this my saggy bottoms have yet to go away. Guess I gotta wait till I go back to the states. 

Yayy for my camera! and granola! and winter jackets! ...and heels! My mama must love me. 

ALSO, today when I was coming home on the tube, I fully fell [slowly] on a bunch of people. Flat on my face. In the middle of rush hour. Embarrassing. I also found 5 pounds! I hope I don't get bad karma from picking it up...

I'll be chillin with Shakespeare all weekend. So until Sunday, Adieu.

"It's So Coldddd in the D!!"

"I don't see why you should censor yourself on your own blog. A blog is really for the writer, not the readers, and if you can't even write the truth, there's no point in having one..." -Miranda

You'll never catch me talking about depressing shit on here. I keep that stuff to myself, locked in the "vault." I WILL, however, share one little secret with all you beautiful people:

I want my blog to be as cool as Kanye's. No, scratch that... COOLER than Kanye's. 

There. I said it.

Funny youtube video's always put me in a good mood; that's the only reason I told you my secret! I also made up a rap about nutella. Ask me about it and i'll do it for you. 

cheers. 

** Miranda is pushing me to recap on the day, so here it is. I got to sit next to TK  during the show we saw tonight for interrelationships. He was about to ask me out on a date, but then the lights dimmed and the show started (and you know how TK gets when his shows start...). I think he's going to ask me out any day now. He was on a roll today with the jokes, though. He talked about bondage, too. That's the one thing about TK- he's always full of surprises. I don't care what anyone says about him. I'll defend him no matter what. 

The walk we went on for the class was a little long, but we got to see where rockstars lived, which is always nice. I actually liked the show we saw. I saw the playwright (who took notes the entire time) and told him I liked it. He said "thanks!" and walked away. He was kinda cute. Weird, though, that a Brit would write a 75 minute play on American politics... We got our issues, but so does the UK. 

AND I still have to write my journals. Sucks, doesn't it?

(seriously... if you want to hear the Nutella song, just ask.)

"Had To Be There" Zinguh!

I just took a 5 hour nap with Miranda... by accident. This means that I'll be up all night working on my scene for tomorrow. I don't want to disappoint my scene parter, nor my gorgeous teacher, Murray [who, b-t-dubs, opted to take a leisurely stroll with me from the London Center to the tube the other day!]. Other than passing out, it was a rather productive day for me: I went to the laundromat with Char to dry my jeans (maybe it got rid of the saggy bottoms?), purchased really yummy cheese, which I have been casually nibbling at since I got home, and I finally bought wax! It's from Veet, and I was a little taken aback because I didn't know Veet made wax! Convenient, right? Goodbyeeeeeee unibrow. 

On a sadder note, just because I feel the need to mention it, my new orange bag was nearly ruined by the unexpected explosion of my pen this morning. Tragic. The inside is completely wrecked, but I was able to salvage the exterior. It's funny because if the outside had even the slightest ink stain on it, I wouldn't wear it... at least not in public. I could make the comparison to people, that we pay more attention to appearance than we do anything else (general statement). It doesn't matter what purpose my bag serves, or how useful the pockets are; if it's stained on the outside, it's immediately dubbed "ugly." ...or maybe I'm just shallow? Doubtful. 

As I travelled home on the Picadilly, the London Paper horoscope section said this about my life today:

"(Aries) You know what they say you should do when life throws you lemons? Of course you do, Aries- you make lemonade. You certainly don't suck on them. They're bitter, after all. This week will bring the bad with the good, but it's what you do about it that's important- you can turn it all to your advantage, just as long as you don't dwell."

Interesting, especially considering yesterday's events. This time, I don't think they're lying.

I leave you with the haiku's I wrote during Tim Kidd's slide lecture earlier today:

Shakespeare in a slide

is sadly not as charming

as Tim Kidd's lectures.

Tim Kidd doesn't like

when the slide projector tilts

slightly to the left.

Tim Kidd was "funky"

in his bright blue satin shirt

way back in the day.

Rocco needs to keep

his shoes on when he's in class.

Mad disrespectful.

Immaculately 

do all the numbers align

in my sudoku.

Say it, don't spray it.

Give me what I want- the news

and not the weather.

Don't step on the crack.

Your mother will throbbingly 

feel her bad back break. 

Howard Howard left,

promising he'd give a ring

to his "blazed-out" friend.

How I'd love to see

a "funky teenage hangout"

once before I leave.

Miranda laughs hard

whenever Tim Kidd utters

any of his jokes. 

I love when Tim said

the "had to be there" zinguh.

TOTES necessary.

"Don't Worry, Willy, We're Not Going Under the Bridge!"

Procrastination: We all do it. If you say you don't, you're lying. It's matter-of-fact. Here's my take on the big "P": I think it's necessary; obviously counter-productive, but necessary. Seriously, though, think about it- how can someone memorize 4 pages of elevated speech without a break... to blog? IMPOSSIBLE. Thus, I've resulted to my handy-dandy blogspot-dot-com account to rest my brain for a hot minute.

Before I talk about my day [briefly], I'd like to share just how disappointed I am with the London Paper's horoscope section. They LIED! They told me, very specifically, that someone loves me (in terms of romance) and that they'd "come clean" this weekend. The only person who did so was the 55+ Jamaican record shop worker in Camden Markets. He wanted my number, I wanted to know if he had any geenie to sell, which he didn't. Seriously??? Is that who supposedly loves me??!? It seems that "love" has hit everyone around me, and I've been hit-on by crackheads, construction workers, and 55+ Jamaican men. The Gods must not love me (although they did send a hot pair of sunglasses my way). Maybe someone was about to tell me they loved me but got distracted? Or maybe fate intervened [negatively] and sent them walking/running/driving in the opposite direction? If you're reading this and you love me, let me know! Maybe then I won't feel so... tricked. I've been had by the London Paper and I'm not afraid to admit it. (p.s. go team Goldenblatt)

Moving on...

Woke up from a frighteningly long sleep, did some laundry and went to Camden Markets, for the first time, with Charlotte and Willz Million Dolla Billz. Just picture 20-plus blocks of nothing but shops. Cool, right? As cool as it was, however, it was a little overwhelming. A little advice: if you plan to go to Camden Markets, go early! I found a pretty good vintage store and I got a few things, one of which would be the shades previously mentioned. I wandered off and found a reggae music shop (where the 55+ guy hit on me). Let me explain that little geenie incident: I made Willz Milli go back with me to find that same guy, and he tried to send me underneath this sketchy ass bridge. Hell to the NO! I don't want to get shanked or robbed, and I wasn't willing to compromise the well-being of Willz Milli. If he got shanked, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I'd probably cry. So we ixne'd that idea and went to get sushi. Tots delish. Gotta give Willz Milli his props, though, on being calm and collected in a time of crisis. What a sweetheart. To show him a little gratitude, I invited him to use our stolen internet to write an email. 

Things to look forward to for tomorrow:

1. Finally buying some wax so that I can take care of my unibrow situation.

2. Checking out a pair of [cheap] kicks that I've discreetly been eyeing for a while.

3. Seeing a good version of Hedda Gabler. With no Jeff Tangeman. 

4. Drying my jeans at the Laundromat with Char to get rid of the saggy-bottoms :)

Till tomorrow, cheers. 

P.S. In case you were wondering, Howard Howard did not steal my laptop. 

Planting The Seed.

Tonight was fun! Dinner was delish, thanks to Charlotte who slaved for a few hours cooking lasagna. The crowds of people who came afterwards only enhanced the merrymaking. Tadbits, the drinking game we created, was a huge success!! Howard Howard played too, which pretty much made my MONTH. ABERLZ wore his fancy shmancy vest, SNELLIS showed up wasted, and together, we all had a good time. I also got to wear my pink kicks... just cause I wanted to. Howard Howard says he's gonna hook me up with some geenie. We'll see if it actually happens. There might have been a little drama, but I'll spare you to keep up the jolly mood of this post. Semi-final words: cheers to a delightful and rather insightful night. 

P.S. Howard Howard is apparently crashing on our lair-thingy. I love him, but if I wake up and my laptop is gone, I might just have to kick his ass. 

Annis the Engineer

***I wrote this entry this morning, but my internet, or rather the neighbor's internet that we steal, was down.***

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12 something pm:

I have limited time to write this morning, but I figured I'd update for my devoted readers (ABERLZ):

Last night while Miranda was raving-it-up with hot cuban bloaks [and not getting "slaughtered," as the Brits say, due to the steep liquor prices], Charlotte, Samantha and I decided to stay in and create some fun of our own. What did we do, exactly? We played the "light a match and say the entire alphabet before the match burns out" game- pretty self-explanatory, we facebook stalked for a few hours, and they all watched as I freaked out from getting denied *Geenie (...think illegalities). I was given a number from a friend and when the time was right, I made my move: I texted him. Conveniently for me, he "was out," total bulloks, and on top of crushing my hopes and dreams, he was a little rude to me! Maybe in his mind it was necessary for him to crudely poke fun at me, but I did NOT appreciate it. You might think I'm being a little uptight, but you didn't read his mean-spirited text messages. As for what he actually said, I'll spare you. Just know that I wasn't happy. Times like that make me appreciate my geenie suppliers in the states. 

When it got dark, the three of us went into the living room, turned off all the lights and attempted to tell ghost stories; it turned into us philosophically assessing the prevalence of spirits, forces, God, etc. If I ever feel like being really controversial, maybe I'll write about it. I've just had a few crazy faith-related experiences and it was nice to be around people who can relate... gotta love the 'mates!

When we were done with all that silliness, Sam & Char decided to catch some Z's, so I took the time to call my family! I talked to my mom, my sister, her huge, motorcycle ridin' boyfriend, and my father. Let me give you the breakdown of my father: he's 50% Jamaican, 50% British and 100% FUNNY!! The way he was talking last night, he could've gave Tracey Morgan a run for his money. Tots serious. Winston is honest and will answer anything you ask him... he's heard it all. Just picture an older, burnt out man [who looks/acts like he smoked wayyy too much weed in his day]. As a matter of fact, last night I asked him if he used to smoke weed and he said yes! I guess the apple truly doesn't fall too far from the tree :) He also gave me the lowdown on Rasta's here in Londontown and warned me about getting involved with them. What a caring soul my father is. Want to know more about Winston? Well he's a bit of a free spirit who's lived just about everywhere at one point in his life, all he watches on the tele are Sanford & Son and CNN, his favorite foods are hot dogs and fish, and he dances when he gets excited. He was a little upset with me that I didn't call Annis, my mysterious British cousin who happens to be named after the body part that people poop from. Last night, he told me she was an engineer, hence the blog title. I really should call her...

Time to get ready for a full day of shopping and such with Samantha. Apparently Howard Howard invited all the girls out to some bar... If he's buying my Stella's, I'm down. I'll keep you updated.

Cheers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

6:40 pm:

Just got back from shopping with Sam. We went to Covent Gardens and I seriously think I struck gold. I went there wandering by myself the other day, but apparently I wandered in the wrong direction. I completely disregarded Neal Street in the past, but now I know where all the hot stores are... or at least in Covent Gardens. Among my purchases, I must say my favorite was the pink kicks I got from a store called, Size. Not gonna lie, I've heard of that store before, but it's bananas; when I walked in, I thought I died and went to sneaker heaven. Thank GOD for Neal Street and my parent's money. 

Nap time... gotta sleep off the 3 tons of food I just ate. My roommates are just learning that when I get too full, my brain shuts down. Weird, I know. Also, shouts to my good friend Jeremy who's in the Netherlands. Sadly, he will be attending a Snoop Dogg concert without me, but soon we will be reunited. 

Cheers.

"You Guys... He Was So Polite to the Hobo's!"

A proper blog title to parallel the proper date that Samantha went on last night. Not gonna lie, Miranda, Charlotte and I were worried by the fact that we might have sent Samantha on a date with some british maniac. While perched on the kitchen bench awaiting her return, we fully plotted the impending death of he who goes by the alias of "Howard Howard"... let's just say it's a good thing he brought her back in one piece. Between the broken wine bottles, the rope from Woolworth's and Miranda's diabetes needles, he would have ended up pulse-less in our oversized garbage bin in the backyard. Brutal. In case you were wondering- and I'm sure you were- she had an excellent time. Apparently he was a perfect gentlemen [with good taste in food... can't be mad about that]. And no, they didn't go bowling like I was told. Props to That Cheung Guy for his contribution towards making my Sammy happy! :)

And now, after a delightful day of wining, dining, walking [a lot], and theatre-ing with TK, the four of us gals are lucky enough to have both ABERLZ and Willy nestled in our living room. Before I go on, I would like to comment on how well-mannered Willy is. He always let the girls walk before him, sit down before him, etc. I already gave him kudos for it. LADIES: If you're looking for a great guy, Willy's sittin' pretty in London! Except don't go after him, he has a girlfriend. Anywayyyyy, they all just finished watching the video we girls took of us preparing the house for a fancy get-together with friends. Innocent, right? The catch: we had just accidentally finished four bottles of wine. We're beasts. It's pretty funny, actually. 

As for our day, we spent it walking through the beautiful Greenwich part of town. We saw a lot of really really really old buildings with tons of history; I have it all written down in my notebook, but I can't remember anything off hand. All of it was extremely gripping, I WILL tell you that much! We saw Frozen, which I liked, despite the horrendous acting from that blonde chick. And the cough of death through the entire second act. Still, it was pretty good.

NEWS OF THE DAY: Miranda got a picture of TK smiling!! For those of you who only know of this Tim Kidd character from the stories I tell, it's kind of a big deal. 

BAD NEWS OF THE DAY: I overslept and was late for my acting class. And I lost some 'moola' because of it. The class was also a little rough, though a part of me thinks it's all in my head. Nevertheless, I just don't think it's my week. :( At least I get to see Tim's chip and cheery face tomorrow! Something marvelous to look forward to. 

Plenty play reviews to come. 

Keep reading. 

Cheers, mate. 

P.S. That Cheung Guy, if you're reading, you need to find me a baby daddy ASAP. (I know where you live)

The Search for Miranda's Missing Ben & Jerry's...

Today was a day FULL of surprises:

1. I walked in late to Tim Kidd's class, a huge no-no, and he didn't even care. I'll elaborate in a minute. 

2. Charlotte washed her clothes today (whites w/ her colors) and her blue jeans inadvertently turned her new white cami's and panties blue... yayy for new sleep clothes! 

3. After a very filling-slash-satisfying Indian dinner with the 'mates, we went to a 24 hr food and wine store so Miranda could get ice cream [to satisfy her sweet tooth!]. Little did she know, the Ben & Jerry's pint slipped out of her already shredded plastic bag a little less than a mile from our flat... oops. I was convinced someone took it, but they laughed at me. Despite the fact that I had to poop like a mother (understatement), the three of us pivoted and searched for the ice cream. Out of nowhere, Charlotte started sprinting forward, screaming "There it is!! There it is!!!" I assumed she found it, so I stopped running. I'm lazy, we already knew this. Anyway, she brought back the ice cream and saved the day!! I think people who work at convenient stores, or any store for that matter, should give their paying customers bags without holes in them. Moral of the story: people will take your wallet, your ipod, your LAPTOP (r.i.p.), but they won't take you're Ben & Jerry's. Good to know. 

So about Interrelationships today: I bought a dress from this store called Primark last weekend- amaazzzinnngggg store. They have great clothes, all of which extremely cheap; I was in heaven. I'm not used to the one-size-up rule yet, the sizes run smaller here than they do in the states, so the dress didn't fit me. Tim Kidd's class didn't start until 1:45 so I woke up early, got dressed, and tubed my arse over to Marble Arch to exchange it for a bigger size. I accomplished what I needed to accomplish [and picked up a nice pair of black flats for 4 pounds!], and I left with a little less than an hour to get to class... a trip that would usually take 15 minutes TOP. Unbeknownst to me, the circle line, MY line, was delayed. I waited about 20 minutes for a train that also happened to stall midway. Sucks, I know. Once I got to Gloucester, I booked it to class and walked in about a minute after he started class. Corey pointed out that I was technically "on time" and that Tim had just started class early. Maybe that's why he didn't care. TK even smiled at me during class! I think he has a proper crush on me, but that's between me and you. All that matters is that I have yet to be "voted off the island." 

Now it's about 11:15 p.m., or 23:15 rather, and Samantha isn't back from her hot date yet. She told me they were going bowling, and I laughed because I thought she was kidding... apparently she wasn't. I just want her to come home because I'm tired and I want to hear about it before I pass out... so I can dream about one day having a British boyfriend of my own. Gotta get my beauty sleep for my long day of walking around Greenwich with the Kidd. Maybe if I block out the other 30 something people, it'll almost be as if he and I were on a date. A girl can only dream, I guess. We see our third show tomorrow, Frozen, which is actually one of my favorite plays ever! I'll talk about my play experiences tomorrow, assuming I'll be awake... and sober. We never know. 

Still so much to talk about! It'll happen, I give you my word. 

Also, special shouts to ABERLZ!!! (remember your promise!)

Adios. 

**WHERE THE HELL IS SAMANTHA???

Life in "The Abbey" Thus Far...

Yayy for my first blog! ...or at least since my middle school xanga. :)

Before I actually write anything with any "real" meaning what-so-ever, let me apologize for the lack of effort that has gone in to the aesthetic of this blog; I figure I'll just 'do it tomorrow.' B-T-Dubs, for those who don't know me, I consider that to be my life motto. And as a mini-disclaimer: DO NOT expect this to be brilliant- or well written. Seriously. My brain power is spent thinking about onesies and painfully bright clothing. Truth is there is only one Adam Berley and he already has an amazing blog, apparently... word on the street. *If you're reading this, shouts to A-Berlz. You'll never admit it, but I know you love the nickname!* Let's get serious for a hot minute: I might be a little covert with my true feelings about having a blog, but truthfully, I'm pretty excited. I might not spend my saturday nights updating, but at least I can talk about people as much as I want! How advantageous. 

Anywhoooo...

Tomorrow- actually today, technically!- marks the two week anniversary since I landed in Londontown. You know what that means!! Many celebrations and nonsensical debaucheries to look forward to. [And by nonsensical debaucheries, CLEARLY I mean dreaming about the stud that is my Interrelationships teacher, Timothy Kidd- look forward to my many, many stories of him in future blogs, assuming I remember I started one.] As for what interrelationships actually is, I couldn't tell you. All I know is that I get to see a million plays every week... and write an 800 word journal about them. Yay. The journal, however, is the only bad part of the class; everything else is splendid! Tonight we saw a musical called The Harder They Come... amazing. I could talk forever about that show, so I'll save it for another blog. All I know is that it closes in about 2 weeks, and if you're in London [and haven't seen it], i highly suggest it. It's the second play I've seen so far here... and secretly the first one I actually liked, only it's not a secret anymore- again, savin' it for another blog. 

*Samantha is talking to her mom on skype or something... probably with that little headset thing she has. I'm waiting for her to get off so *Charlotte and I can pick out her outfit for her hot British date tomorrow. If you're not as jealous as I am, something's clearly wrong with you. 

On a closing note:

Funny pun that ABERLZ made up tonight ON-THE-SPOT at a random pub!! Why was the polar bear scared to go home to his wife? Because he was on thin ice. HAH. 

peace. 

EDIT!!! I think the Dorf photoshopped herself into pictures with various reality celebs from the greater California region... unfortunately we will never find out the truth. What a bizarre child.